Slayers Love Showdown!
by Torchie
Summary: Ah, yes, three of Slayers most popular bishies going at it for none other than the famous Lina Inverse! ^-^ Yes, I know this idea is probably overrated and overdone, but please R&R anyway! PG because I feel like it...


The Slayers Love Showdown!!!  
  
T: *walks in, dragging Lina behind her* Hello, and welcome to the Slayers Love Showdown. Today we'll be getting a boyfriend for Lina. *half throws Lina into a chair and ties her down with rope*  
  
L: *struggling violently* I can't believe you made me do this! Fire( *mouth is covered with tape*  
  
T: *sweatdrop* That was close. anyway, the three contestants will be Xelloss, Zelgadis, and Gourry!  
  
Audience: *claps*  
  
Random fangirl group 1: GO GOURRY-SAMA!!!  
  
Random fangirl group 2: YOU'RE THE GREATEST, ZELGADISS-SAMA!!!  
  
Random fangirl group 3: WE LOVE YOU, XELLOSS-SAMA!!!  
  
T: *muttering to self* Why is it that the fangirls for Gourry don't realize that if he wins, he'll be off on a date with Lina and not with them.?  
  
X: *cheerfully waves with the smile on his face*  
  
Z: *walks in, looking as though he doesn't really want to be here *  
  
G: Uh, what are we doing here?  
  
T: --; *hits Gourry over the head*  
  
Audience: *sweatdrop*  
  
T: Please, sit down. Now then, you three are here to see which one of you may win over Lina's heart!!  
  
L: *struggles violently some more*  
  
G: I don't want her heart.  
  
T: *evil glare* Anyway, the first test is for each of you to cook the best meal for Lina!!  
  
X: No problem!  
  
Z: I can't cook.  
  
T: Of course you can! *puts Zel in a nice pretty pink apron that says 'Iron Chef' on the front*  
  
Z: --;  
  
T: Never did like pink myself.  
  
Audience: *sweatdrop*  
  
G: Uh.  
  
T: Okay, get cooking! We'll be back with their dishes right after this commercial!  
  
~Commercial break: a bunch of woman smiling and saying how they tried so hard to lose weight, but didn't get to until they got this new dietary pill! Before and after pictures. Wow they lost 64 pounds in 2 weeks. I sure hope their intestines don't get pressed together from all that quick weight loss.~  
  
T: We're back, and these meals are cooked and ready! *goes to untie Lina and take the tape off her mouth*  
  
L: *Jumps out of the chair, glares at Torch* Flare(  
  
T: Oh, Lina-san, don't be so quick to shoot people. If you do, you'll burn all this lovely food.  
  
L: Food?!?!?!?! *drools, runs over and sits on the chair, in front of the table*  
  
T: *evil snicker* All right, we'll start with Gourry! Okay Gourry, serve up your meal. Lina, you can rate it 1-10.  
  
G: *walks over and puts his meal down on the table. It's a simple looking hamburger*  
  
Random fangirl group 1: *oohs and aahs*  
  
X: *whispers to Zel* Simple meal for a simple brain.  
  
Z: .  
  
L: *wolfs it down anyway, then holds up a 7*  
  
G: *big smile*  
  
Random fangirl group 1: *cheering happily*  
  
Audience: *claps*  
  
T: All right, next will be Xelloss!  
  
Audience: *boos, while those freak fangirls try to get past the stage guards, yelling "Xelloss-sama!" or some nonsense like that.*  
  
X: *evil glare at those booing*  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
X: *smiling, walks to Lina and serves a rather odd looking.mixture. of something brown and liquidy with lots of globby stuff that's supposed to be clams. or chicken. or fish. or something.*  
  
L: *.sample.* Xelloss, where did you learn to cook?  
  
X: Sore wa himitsu desu! *wink*  
  
Random fangirl group 3: *swoon*  
  
L: .*holds up a 5*  
  
T: Hmm, I was expecting more of a 1.  
  
Random fangirl group 3: Xelloss-sama! *crying*  
  
X: Aw, Lina-san, you didn't like my cooking?  
  
T: Okay, now it's Bunni-chan's turn!  
  
Z: -- Don't call me that. *walks to Lina and puts down his plate*  
  
L: *Inhales it, then holds up a 10*  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
Random fangirl group 2: YAY ZELGADISS-SAMA RULES!!!  
  
C: Well, it looks like Zel has won this round! Now, see what our next test is after this next break!  
  
~Another commercial break. can here muffled sounds of Torch telling Lina to stay, and Lina attempting to cast some spell at her, then a thump and a shuffle~  
  
T And now we're back!  
  
L: *is tied up in the chair again, with tape on her mouth* Mmm. *evil glare*  
  
T: *big smile* Okay, and our second test is to have our three guys guess which of Lina's spells is her favorite! Write them down on your cards. And Lina, you write yours down on your card. Wait, you're tied up. Okay, I'll untie your hand and you can write it down. *frees Lina's hand*  
  
L: *rips tape off her mouth* FIREBALL!!!  
  
T: .  
  
L: What.?  
  
T: You can't hurt me.  
  
L: Why not?!  
  
T: --; Because I'm the authoress and the hostess! And I'm called Torch for a reason.  
  
L: Oh yeah. *sighs and writes down her favorite spell*  
  
T: *tapes Lina's mouth again, and reties her hand*  
  
L: *hateful glare*  
  
T: *innocent smile* Okay, are you three done yet?  
  
X: *grins*  
  
Z: *nods*  
  
G: *looks confused, but nods*  
  
T: Okay, Xelloss, hold up your card.  
  
X: *holds up card that says 'Fireball'*  
  
T: Bunni-chan?  
  
Z: --;  
  
T: ^-^  
  
Z: *holds up card that says 'Giga slave'*  
  
T: Gourry?  
  
G: *holds up card that says 'Dragon slave'*  
  
T: Lina?  
  
L: *shakes head firmly*  
  
T: LINA.  
  
L: *glares at her*  
  
T: Fine. *walks over, reads card, breaks out laughing*  
  
L: *turns red*  
  
T: *holds up card that says 'Fireball', still laughing.* Xelloss wins this round!  
  
L: *turns five shades of crimson*  
  
X: *winks at Lina* You're cute when you blush, Lina-san ~ 3!  
  
L: *struggles very very violently, turning rather. purple.*  
  
T: *takes tape off*  
  
L: FIREBALL!  
  
X: *phases out and then back in* Missed me, Lina-san. you really must work on your aim.  
  
L: *starts muttering some stuff*  
  
T: ? *leans close, hears, 'darkness beyond blood that flows'* Okay, Lina- san, that's enough. *puts tape back on quickly* And now, another commercial break!  
  
~.................~  
  
T: Now we're back for our third round! *smiles evilly*  
  
Audience: *sweatdrop*  
  
T: *takes tape off Lina's mouth and unties the rope* Stand here. *points to a place on the floor*  
  
L: No.  
  
T: *leans over to whisper something in Lina's ear, then pulls back* I said, Stand here.  
  
L: *glares, walks over and stands there*  
  
T: * smiles* Now then, our third test will be. the kissing test!!!  
  
Audience: *sweatdrop*  
  
Random fangirl groups: WHAT?  
  
L: NANI?!?! I actually have to be kissed by them?!?!  
  
T: ^-^ Hai, Lina-san.  
  
L: *grumbles*  
  
T: First up is Zel.  
  
Z: *sweatdrop* I don't want to go first.  
  
T: Okay, fine, Gourry, come here.  
  
G: What am I supposed to do again?  
  
T: --;  
  
G: Oh yeah. *walks over and kisses Lina lightly, tipping her over a little*  
  
Audience: *applaud*  
  
T: Didn't know he could do that.  
  
Random fangirl group 1: Gourry-sama.! *waves of tears down their faces*  
  
T: All right, Bunni-chan!  
  
Z: Do I have to?  
  
T: ^-^ You know you want to.  
  
Z: --;;; *walks over to Lina* Don't fireball me. *holds her gently and kisses her deeply*  
  
Audience: *oohs and ahhs*  
  
Random fangirl group 2: ;-; Zelgadiss-sama.  
  
Z: *lets go of Lina*  
  
L: *is very red*  
  
T: *grin* Thank you, Zel-san. I'm sure you both enjoyed that, ne? Last is Xelloss!  
  
L: NO! *tries to run away*  
  
X: Don't run away Lina-san. I promise I'll be nice *smiles*  
  
L: Don't touch me, Xelloss!  
  
X: *walks over to Lina and grabs her before she can run away. Dips her and kisses her passionately for a long time*  
  
T: *after a few minutes of silence, coughs* Xelloss, that's enough.  
  
X: *kisses her a bit longer, then pulls Lina up and lets her go*  
  
L: *is very, very red*  
  
Audience: *silence*  
  
T: *coughs again* Well, Xelloss, apparently you're a very good kisser.  
  
Random fangirl group 3: .Xelloss-sama. *crying*  
  
T: Well, it looks like there's a tie, so. Lina, pick a number between 1 and 20.  
  
L: Eh. why?  
  
T: Please?  
  
L: O.kay. 15.  
  
T: *pulls a hat out of no where and holds it in front of Zel* Draw one.  
  
Z: .? *draws one*  
  
T: *proceeds to Gourry and then Xelloss* Okay, you may now look at your papers.  
  
Z: 13.  
  
G: Uh. 7.  
  
X: ^-~ 16.  
  
T: ^-^ Xelloss-san wins!  
  
L: N.n.nani?!  
  
T: *shrugs* You picked the number.  
  
L: *faints*  
  
X: *grabs Lina before she falls to the floor*  
  
T: Don't they look cute together? You two get a two week trip to Hawaii! Have fun in the sun, splashing in the water, in a beautiful house just for the two of you! Imagine, the two of you alone on a little island that's part of Hawaii, for two weeks, with the sun, the beach, and the water!  
  
L: x.x  
  
X: *holds Lina, waving*  
  
T: Oh, and remind her not to attempt to hurt you, Xelloss. We don't pay for damage. Random fangirl groups: *lots of mixed emotions of happiness and sadness of whether their bishy won/lost.*  
  
Z: *sighs dejectedly*  
  
G: .So I didn't win? Aw. oh well, can we go now?  
  
T: Sure, sure.  
  
*Gourry and Zel leave*  
  
T: Thank you all for being here at the Slayers Love Showdown! See you next time. maybe we'll do Amelia. ^-^ 


End file.
